I experimented with anxiety as an embodied experience, trying to communicate visually the mind-body response simultaneously. Documenting the “anatomy of anxiety”, I decided to work on a series of self portraits- the traditional kind with representation of my own self in flesh and blood; and one skeletal portrayal taking creative liberty in illustrating the physiological reaction within the body. Biologically speaking, anxiety refers to a chain of physiological reactions like a rapid heart rate, lowered blood circulation to the extremities, among other symptoms. These cause us to feel a certain dread and unease, which we then recognise as anxiety. However, the way we experience these bodily changes can be a bit more poetic- anxiety reads like your heart has dropping to your stomach, hands feeling icy, and shivers all over.
the use of the fish eye lens of a peephole invites the viewer to look or peep into a different dimension. On the outside, is a seemingly ordinary portrait (of the self), hand lightly clutching the heart; but on closer inspection- one may witness a peephole piercing the canvas.
Looking through the lens leads the viewer into a different dimension- the idea of the “within”- skulls and bones, and an anxious heart that has dropped to the stomach.
I have a vintage wooden heart that was found in the attic of an NGO dedicated to Tuberculosis in Delhi, India. The timeline of the formation of the institute was very close to the partition of the country, and so, the heart was probably used to teach students back in the day.
I suspended the heart inside a wooden plinth, metaphorically depicting the sensation of anxiety- the feeling of “one’s heart dropping to their stomach”
